The other side of this would be, what type of person would I like to be and do I try to be. Doing my best to do right by people is important I think it’s good for the soul. So here is my list of characteristics I try not to be.
Insecure – I try not to be insecure. This is easier said than done, but I know this saying that says value yourself in your own work or something like that. Try to just like you and be happy with what you have, it sucks when someone looks at you and says that’s not fair and then does everything they can to take what you worked for. Taking from others does not make you a go getter, it actually makes you lazy and manipulative.
Dishonest- It is really hard to be honest sometimes but a good rule of thumb for this is, if its going to embarrass you when people find out the truth don’t do it and then you won’t have to lie. Also, if you make a mistake no one is going to think less of you if you tell the truth and apologize but if you lie and they know you are lying, you have pretty much lost respect long term.
Inconsistent- I try to be the same way all the time so people know what they are getting. Oh yes, I have bad days but I remember someone saying to me or reading somewhere, who cares how you feel you don’t get to just be mean because you are having a bad day.
Gossiper- I try to stay out of the rumor mill. If you ask yourself questions about the people talking about people regularly like –do you trust them or do you fear they will talk about you? The answer is probably no and yes, so you should do yourself a favor and stay aware from all that crazy!
Assuming – I really want to make my own opinion of situations. You can miss out on great people because you listen to what others have to say over what you have seen. Unfortunately, this is a little lazy.
Praise Sucker – I hate it when people need to hear how great they are all of the time, it’s one of the most annoying things in the whole world. Yes, we all need those people in our lives who say great things about us, but if you need it everyday all day you might need to talk to someone about that. Also, see point one because you might be insecure.
The Put Downer – I hate put downers, these are people who make mean jokes at other peoples expense. If your friend is blonde and you call her the dumb blonde in the group and everyone laughs, you are a put downer. This is bad and really uncool! If you can’t be funny without other people feeling bad, you’re not actually funny.
So these are the things I am on guard about, I know this list is long. I used to have horrible relationships in my life and I felt bad all the time and I really had to look inside and outside and figure out what the heck was happening. I remember talking to one of my old friends about gossiping and you know what she said… she said everyone is like this. What the does that even mean?? She also said, when you don’t gossip you make others uncomfortable, like you think you are better than them – who even says crap like that??!!
Today I have few close friends, fun acquaintances and everyday come and goes and it’s so much better that way. In the Bible Jesus had 3, 12 and 70 which basically means he loved people but had levels of friendship based on character and that’s a good model.
We all are works in progress myself included but try to be with people who want to be who you want to be and it helps.