22 June 2017

Thoughts on race

The Philando Castile case hit me pretty hard last week. I just want to say, I love being black! I've never wanted to be white, or Asian or any race other than my race. With that said I've grown up mostly around white people. I was born in Chicago and went to Nash Elementary for a year while my mom was away for work and my dad was setting things up in Washington. Most of my family still lives there and I visit from time to time. With that said I've had lots of experiences in and around different economic situations. I literally was across the street when someone I knew was shot and today I live in the second wealthiest area in Washington, I'm not rich but I get it trust me. 

This season has taught me so much about everyone. My conclusion is you're either cool and get it or you're not and don't. Unfortunately, it feels like we the people who see equality as something to be reached are the minority and I honestly don't understand what the problem is. I don't understand the view that my skin makes me threatening to some because it's just a color and a culture. 

I don't understand why and how some people feel, I should have less, be looked at as less and not have the same rights as them. If I work just as hard, pay the same taxes and do everything you do, why do you still need to be looked at as more? I think in an attempt to oppress others I am seeing the oppressor in a weaker light and I don't think that is their intention but it is becoming my view. 

Identifying my people: 

I now know how to identify "good people," faster than ever before. People who will stand for justice and what is right are my people. Those who blame the media for its negative portrayal of blacks and use that to defend what they believe are just not making the cut for me.

Yes, the hood is a problem and yes blacks kill their own, but you have to consider the history and  time that it takes to work on those things and in those communities. Side note, if you are a police officer you collect a salary and it is your job to do the right thing, you don't have the right to be bias. Things are generational until the cycle of low worth and low value of life is broken. I've had to tell many black people in my world that all white people aren't horrible, the difference I find is that most of them open their hearts. 

What if I blamed the media for its portrayal of racist whites or what well to do whites call rednecks (I hate that word by the way) as all of you? See how stupid that is. Needless to say I don't have those type of people in my life, but one almost slipped in and I immediately removed her because with the current state of the world, it's just a waste of time to hang out with anyone not for you and on the right side of history. 

I remember having a conversation with an ex white friend about what to do at work. I felt that some of the girls were treating me unfairly. She told me to cry so that everyone would side with me. She also said to mention to my boss that I felt threatened by the other girls (who were being petty and claiming my work). So when I hear  things in the media and I see tears of fear and statements of fear, I know that there is a very real chance it's not sincere and simply a method to get away with a wrong. 

The change of heart: 

My top three close friends are white, so I get it. I've been over for dinner, I've been to the out of control parties and I have dated all races. The conclusion is we are all the same. Some of the media portrays blacks as not having their shiz together, doing drugs and so on but I have personally grown up watching us all do these things. If black people were the only people smoking weed they would not have legalized it and if black people were the only people on welfare it won't still be available. In Kirkland I see EBT cards every once in a while and this area is not hugely black. There is nothing wrong with needing help but there is something wrong with presenting it as a one race problem. Would a government who kills us and doesn't punish our murders create programs to help us - haha! Seriously, think about that. No judgement on abortions but I did know a non-black girl with several because she didn't like the way condoms felt and guess which neighborhoods the abortions took place in. The highest human trafficking spot in Washington State is in Bellevue which is predominantly white, so can we all just admit every race is in the crazy bin together and get on with it. I've seen the police judge my white friends as ditzy blonde girls living on daddy's money, this hurts, but my path is still harder.

What I am saying is before all of  this I didn't really believe that white people could ever relate to me or be outside of themselves. I've had white friends my whole life, but race has never come up until the past year and I am sort of glad it did. I thought  all white people lived unconcerned about anything and completely and totally oblivious to the differences and hurt of others when it came to race. I believed you would stay silent and that as a black person should anything go wrong, I alone would be standing up for myself. This was a silent judgement about all white people and I was wrong and I am very glad I was. With that said am I super trusting? Absolutely not, I receive each individual as an individual and let them show me who they are after I ask questions about race to spur the process.

I remember when a famous singer mentioned that BeyoncĂ© gave her black friends the strength to stand up for themselves. I thought to myself how blind, do you realize that even when we do stand up for ourselves how it's viewed? You very easily become the angry black girl. I hope her comments have afforded her growth and information. 

I am proud of my close white friends for just getting it, they don't say nonsense like that. They actually understand me and see me and that experience is new. I have hope in us as a nation. Racism is ugly, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to know exactly what and who I am looking at regularly. I am grateful for the word I can use boldly and freely to describe people who are willfully blind and mistreating others.  

We have to do better and together I believe we can. I am super disappointed in so many, but hopeful for those of us with the confidence and intelligence to see equality. 


I'm sick of my white friends telling me when they stand up for black people we (black people) shut them down. Cut that out, to change the world we need everyone, so knock it off. 

If you're rich and black or "sound white" you're still black so stand up for your race there is no them and us. If someone says you are not like that black person, that is actually still an insult. To the racist all they see is your skin and if you look it, you are it. I heard an African American preacher who is half saying I'm barely black. No stupid, you are black and if you are married to white you are STILL black. A famous rapper once tried to denounce being black, he lied and said he was something else. What an embarrassment. I have no respect for him and if that is how you are, you sound stupid. 

Black people doing the light skin vs dark skinned thing and thinking somehow dark skinned people, aren't sexy or light is better you too are stupid, knock it off. That comes from slavery and separation of slaves allowed in the home and those not, but both were still slaves. You are continuing the cycle of demeaning and separating your people. Seeing yourself as better is something you need for you, so work on your self esteem and your need for false superiority.

Black men dating white women and thinking black women care, we don't, love who you love and get on with it. Dating outside your race doesn't have to mean that your race sucks and or that you believe one race is better than another. I feel bad when my well-meaning white girlfriends who like chocolate men meet one who states he is only interested in her because she is white, that's not cool don't do that. 

Anyways, all done, thats it! 

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